Be Sensitive to His Voice

I am not sure what triggered this thought today, but I have been thinking of an experience I had right after my youngest daughter was born. I suffered postpartum depression after M was born. It was a very difficult time for me and I didn’t want to accept I was experiencing this. I mean, what kind of mom is depressed after having a beautiful baby? (Or at least that was my thinking). Let me just say that God did change my thinking and helped me through this time in my life. I highly recommend that if you know someone experiencing postpartum depression, that you encourage that person to seek help and that you listen to how God would use you to minister to her.

So, on to my story …

After M was born my husband was able to take a week off from his job to help me. When he went back to work, it became difficult for me to leave the house with the 2 girls. It seems silly now, but at the time it was a huge undertaking for me to leave the house and take both girls with me. My husband worked shifts and was not able to go with me to church every weekend. Prior to M being born, I was teaching the 3 yr old class and really enjoyed it. I stopped teaching a couple of months before M was due. As I was trying to get back into a regular routine, I thought I would see about assisting with the preschool ministry again. I knew I did not want to teach again, at that time, but remembered there were other jobs that volunteers could help with behind the scenes. I thought it may be best to sign up for one of those jobs for a little bit until I was better able to handle things. (I know you may be wondering why I would even try to serve at church during this time. I really enjoyed teaching prior to M being born and wanted to get back into that as soon as possible. I really wanted to give back — what I didn’t understand, at the time, is that I can’t give away what I do not have.)

I filled out the response card indicating I would like to serve in the preschool ministry. Someone from church called me within the week. The lady on the phone began asking me what I wanted to do in the preschool ministry. I explained that at the time my husband was working day and night shifts and that some weekends it was just too much for me to get both of the girls ready and get to church. I explained that I remembered there used to be volunteer opportunities during the week for making copies and getting the lessons and supplies ready for the weekends. I explained I would like to do something like that.

The lady began to inform me that there were not any opportunities like this. She let me know that she had 4 or 5 children (I can not remember now) and that her husband was on the worship team so they had to attend all of the weekend services, which at that time may have been 3 or 4 services. She let me k now that I need to just “do” it. To just suck it up and get the girls ready and get to church. That there are days she doesn’t feel like getting everyone ready but she just does it and basically that is what I needed to do.

I remember being so upset and so hurt after this phone call. I prayed and asked God to help me. He knew my heart and knew I wanted to serve, but He also knew I needed to be loved on and filled up before I could give anything to others. I remember right after that phone call thinking that I would not be going back to the church we were currently attending. Due to my husbands schedule at the time, he was not able to join us for church much during the month. I knew that if I went back to the church I used to attend, as soon as I walked in the door there would be ladies there to love on me and help me with the girls, if I needed help. I was right — the very first Sunday I went back to my “old” church, someone took my oldest daughter to her class, walked me to the nursery to check in my youngest, and all the while hugging me and pouring love into me. I really believe God knew what I needed and sent me to the place He knew I would get it. I reflect back on that time and know I would not have come out of my depression w/o the love of God being poured into me.

I am not upset over the lady who called me. I know she did not know what was going on in my life at the time. However, I think we can all use this as a lesson to remind us that we don’t know what someone else is experiencing or going through. We need to ask God to help us reach out to those who are hurting and to pour His love into them. However, please never forget that God wants to fill you up first so that you will have something to give away to others!

I did end up going back to the church where I served in the preschool area. I even went back to teaching the 3 yr old class and loved every single minute of it!

Note: There is lots of help for postpartum depression. Please reach out if you think you may be experiencing this!