Random Thoughts

Wow! I had not realized it has been so long since I last posted. Not that I think anyone reads these anyway :-)

I have so much on my mind and heart lately. It is hard for me to put it in writing. I continue to ask God to give me a clear mind, wisdom and guidance.

I know what the word of God says regarding worry and how God will take care of us. According to the word it says that God will provide for us and we should not worry about tomorrow. When we go through trials we shouldn't get bummed out we should count it joy b/c it is teaching us something. Why is it so hard to actually do this?

All over the news and web are stories of how bad the economy is doing and stories of how Christianity is no longer the leading religion. It breaks my heart. Hearing of all the layoffs and financial trouble people are facing really does break my heart. (Just an FYI there will be a book published soon on this topic with devotions and other great info to read if you or someone you know has lost their job recently. I will be sure to let you know as soon as it is out. It is being written by a dear friend of mine). So how are we not to worry? I pray for those who have lost their jobs that God will give them something way better than they had.

It also upsets me to hear how other religions have supposedly out-numbered Christianity. I am not sure how people know that as I doubt they have interviewed everyone in the US, but it does bring up a lot of thoughts. How do we as Christians show the world how Great and Awesome and Loving our God is during these times? How do we pass on the hope that is in Jesus to those who are suffering? It is great to talk about these things at church but what about all of those that do not attend church? What if they attend a different religion's church (or wherever they meet)? How will they hear the truth of Christ's love?

I know that through the ages people have been hurt by the "church". It breaks my heart that they were not able to see Jesus and meet him while attending. I want the world to know how much He loves us and the freedom we have in him.

I am confused as to why we do not witness more miracles in the church today. When Jesus was on the earth I can only imagine how awesome it was! He would touch someone or speak a word or someone would touch his robe and they were instantly healed! When we pray for someone today are we expecting an instant miracle or are we just hoping God might do a small something just to make it a little better? Are we really experiencing the abundant life Jesus came to give us or are we just trying to hold on until we get to Heaven or Christ comes back?

I have so many questions but not enough answers and I am not sure where to get my answers. It seems that each person, web site, or church has a different answer. Why is that? Why are there different beliefs even among Christ's followers? I do not understand it. Which one is right?

I pray God will give me these answers and that He would heal my hurts and make me whole. I want to be able to represent Him everyday in my life. I want to live my life each and every day to make my father in heaven famous! I want the love of Jesus to overflow out of me so that people around me can feel it and want more of it.

I do want to Thank God for all He has done in my life. I think about my life 10 years ago and I thank God for where He has brought me. I love Him so much and I just want more of Him. I don't want to just hear about him, I want to Know Him personally. There is a song that Jesus Culture sings and it says -- I don't want to sing about you like your not in the room, I want to look right at you, want to sing right to you --- that is how I feel. I don't want to just sit in church and hear about him. I want to know him face to face. I want to experience His love and His presence every day of my life! I want more than what I currently have in Him!